A 2006 Grad trying to navigate life with a B.A. in Secondary Edcation - Social Studies. Christen is currently a Substitute Teacher for a local school district, while dreaming of something a little more like working in Politics and/or Washington DC.
I am currently on my lunch break at the school I am currently subbing. Today has gone as good as to be expected being the first day of a new semester and with an 1 hour delay start time (damn snow but I didn't know about the delay until I got to the school) and I am subbing in the Special Education with Basic History and Math and most of the students have behavior or lack of motivation. Luckily, alot of my students decided to skip today, which makes my day a little easier.
My third period, damn third period. It is foundational math, which breaks into four groups with four different teachers. One girl freaked out about her placement (I am guessing it had to do with the teacher rather the group). She threatened me and the other teacher about the unfairness and I told her either go into the group or to the office. She choose the office, along with threatening me again about how mean and evil I am. I am so glad for coming back tomorrow. I love working with students with behavioral issues.
I have never had sex, I have never turned it down and the issue of sex has never come up in my life (yet). My parents have never given me the sex talk. I learned about it is the way all "good" girls do - friends, movies, and the Cosmo Magazine and preferably before the age of 13. So, two weeks ago when I walked into a Middle School Health classroom and saw what was the lesson plan for the day, I did an internal scream that if it actually made it out of my mouth, if heard would have been deafening to the entire school. I am also sure I said "Fuck" a few times somewhat silently to myself starring at the unit I was subbing for - Sex Ed. I text my roommate with what I was teaching, because if anyone would understand who be my roommate who has a mom who is abstinence lady.
I like challenges and being a substitute teacher surely gives me these every time I walk into a classroom. I like to think of myself as a female-nerdy-teacher-version of Indiana Jones, who throws herself in danger but comes out a better person who has great stories to tell and perhaps gaining some practical teacher-like ideas for when she too will have her own classroom. So, I sub and return with a headache and yet a better understanding of how middle and high school students brains work (maybe).
The lesson in the Sex Ed unit was about hooking up/one night stands. There was this wonderful article about that was to be read out loud with the class about the emotional issues that could arise, not to mention sexually transmitted infections (it has changed from diseases, so STIs instead of STDs - more friendly). So, I had to make sure all the 7th graders (around 12 years old) knew was certain terms meant like: Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Vaginal Intercourse and so on. Seriously. I did everything in my power not to turn red up there and laugh when I am being all serious while I have 25 pair of eyes just starring back at me. Of course there are a few giggles and snickers that arose from the once rowdy bunch to now I can hear a pin drop silence of the classroom.
The article was read and then proceeded to the worksheet.
Then came the questions. One girl asked me what was vaginal intercourse? A boy ask me if a girl could get pregnant by anal sex, well no, but technically yes. There were others questions. I forget that at this age, when they do not know something, they are usually pretty honest in asking. Of course, the questions could become wacky at a given moment, but for today the questions were typical and normal for that I was grateful.
The one thing I realized that when I sub for middle school classrooms, I tend to have a middle school student brain when I come home from subbing for the day. I have learned that when I been with middle school students, I need a time to allow myself to return to my normal being, so I come home and at 430pm on the PBS channel I watch Curious George and do Sudoku (preferably a hard level one) and this restores me back to a 25 year old (usually).
I subbed the the same teacher and classes the other day, and they were still on Sex Ed. However, this time one period decided to piss off the substitute (me) by asking really, really wacky sex questions (and I could tell it wasn't for knowledge). Questions that I do not remember, but it was more along the line to stump the sub and see what reaction they could get out of me. So, the entire class was rowdy and I gave entire class a warning (the next step is detention according to this teacher's rules) and that keep them quiet and respectful. I just wasn't in the mood to be messed with let alone with Sex Ed, because one wrong thing I say, could get me in trouble with the school district, the teacher I am subbing for and with parents.
This time, we read a chapter about abstinence and why everyone should try to be abstinence until they are ready (remember, public education and I am not allow to add morals or values to anything). Then we read a article about Sex in the Media, which was dated in 2004, so most kids didn't know about Felicity or Dawson's Creek (the sex shows of that time - oh the memories).
Substitute Teacher is a very fine tightrope act, things could be going great for a moment, and then a student laughs and all hell breaks loose. I like subbing, but at times I wish I could really use the duck-tape that is in my car to keep the students in their seats focused and working like good will students their teachers claim that they are.
The last time I sat through Sex Education was in high school and six years later, I am standing in front of a classroom of 30, 7th graders for 5 periods, defining oral sex and reading this article about “hooking-up” and the pros and cons of hooking up. Seriously, I think the past two months of subbing, I have done everything that every sub dreads. I have worked with last chance high school students (who for some reason like me, and the teachers always want me back) to special education kids in middle school. So maybe, this me proving myself to myself that I can teach.
According to the note, the classroom teacher, I am suppose to be matter of fact, and not impose any values to defining for explaining in any questions. Oh yes, she made it very clear that is not a “how-to” class (which was fine by me). For the most part, the classes went fine. A few questions about oral sex and the scripted answer is the following, “where your mouth touches the genitals or anus.”
So, I survived and the students survived.
Here are some questions I was asked (seriously): o Can a girl get pregnant by anal sex? o What is vaginal intercourse? o What is dry sex?
Let’s just say, it was an interesting day. Middle school students were cool about it; sure there were giggles when certain words would come up. But for the most part, they ask questions that they didn’t really know. I love that middle school students are not afraid to ask questions. Sometimes as teachers, and adults we have to say I do not know.
Disclaimer (I wrote this for another blog, and found it again, I am just going to post it here to keep all stories in one place)
November 1, 2008 (1 Month In)
I have learned many things in the past three weeks as a substitute teacher for a local school district – never assume anything, instead imagine the worst, and the day will go much better or surprisingly well. The phrase "controlled chaos," is usually how I describe my day. The stories that I come home with, to my apartment, are always funny even in the tragic sense. But then I do find the humor in most anything, especially in tweens and teens. Students always assume that a sub does not know what is going on in the classroom, but I have the uncanny gift of hearing and seeing everything that happens. A student that throws that ball of paper on my far left that misses the basket and I call him on it when I am looking straight ahead and the power that comes from calling a student on his shit – priceless. Girls in the back row that still do not understand that whispering in a silent classroom is still loud and you call them on it – amazing. I love when I sub classes that I actually know that subject or the lesson, and can totally amaze the students with the knowledge, even better.
Recap of my high and lows in being a substitute teacher –
Day 1 Half Day High School Vocational Health Class
It would have been nice to be told the correct time to show up on your first subbing day, because subbing is all about the first impression to the school and the students. The district I work for has a Sub Finder, an automated phone service that calls subs based on certification or what they are willing to sub and all the jazz, calls me up and I accept this job and it tells me to show up at 1030am. Okay. But being me I show up to the school at 1005am because I wasn't sure on how long it would take me to drive the back roads to get there or about parking, since it was a high school, and I just wanted to be ready. I show up and the office manager already tells me that I am late, even though on the paper I am a half hour early. Class started at 1005am. Shit. So I am late, not my fault, but now running in the hallway of the empty halls trying to find this classroom. A teacher sees me speed walking and tells me he already opened the door and that I am late – thanks. I stop right before I open the door, breathe and hope to God that I have a teacher look on my face. It is not pleasant to have a classroom full of high school students staring at you when you walk in late. To make matter worse, I couldn't find the lesson plan until middle of class. At least, the teacher was kind of enough to write the agenda for the students on the board. It was okay, all these students want to go into the health profession, and the video was about AIDS. I never heard so many teens giggle at the word during a class before. I only subbed one class that day; the rest of the day was prep. Wow. That an interesting first day. I emailed the school district, so I get paid for that extra half hour. Thank God, day one is now over and it is a funny story.
Day Two & Three Middle School Special Education
When I was at the paperwork meeting, the head of the subbing department convinced me to work also with special needs because I would get hours. Of course, I sort of knew what I was getting into, but at the same time – no. I picked these two days up for the same teacher. The teacher specializes in English in Special Needs. So all the students I worked with had learning disabilities along with behavioral issues (or issues that only appear when a sub appears).
It was hard, students were unfocused because the normal teacher is gone and the curriculum is really hard to implement when you are not use to the routine or the normal teacher. Even with all the prep, everything just came apart. Random Thought – why do some teachers leave mounds of stuff for the sub to cover? It makes me feel like a failure if I cannot cover everything well. Then again, it's my own OCD issues I suppose. It was hard, the second day was easier, but thank God for the Para-Educator that was there for half of the classes.
I came home so exhausted and frustrated, and I have only done three days. I have also quit my job at Providence in Everett, at this point.
Day Four High School Art
Art is always easy to sub, unless the teacher leaves the sub/guest teacher (some schools call me this, which is much better than substitute) art videos from the late eighties that only cover half the period on something the art class does not do. The video were horrid, an old white guy discussing the elements of style and showing the elements by the use of construction paper (seriously). The music was better than expected. But the class I was covering was jewelry making, digital photography and sculpting.
Day Five and Six Alternative High School English
At this point, I realized that I have not had a normal subbing experience yet. Alternative is the code word for last chance school in the district. These students graduate if they show up everyday, and homework can be turned in at the last day of the quarter. I do not find it fun to try to barter with high school students to stare at the book for 90 minutes or sleep because their normal teachers do not care when they turn in homework. I am sorry that we are stuck together for 90 minutes per period and YOUR teacher left me instructions to work on reading and do the worksheets. The best part of this teacher was that he left new and approved notes for the next day, not realizing it was the same sub and was "disappointed" that his students did not get as far as he would have like on the first day. Maybe you should set your standards a little higher in your classroom; I do not care if you are an alternative school, but come on give some responsibility to the students.
Day Seven High School AP English
Finally, a "normal" classroom, I was stoked when I got this assignment because I didn't know how to handle a normal high school class. These kids were great, and granted they were honor and AP students, and the teacher left detailed notes and they students had to work on AP essay test skills. The kids were lovely and I would love to sub for her again.
Day Eight High School Social Studies
Yes, my endorsement area! The best part most of the classes were government. The government classes were discussing the stenotypes of republicans and democrats, and it was great. I was asking questions and the students just stared at me, because I knew what I talking about. Observation about most male teachers that I have subbed for – they always have there room in disarray, he had piles and piles of white, copied paper all over. I loved that is notes said, on the front desk there is a stack of the worksheet. But he did not say it's under all the other shit I also left there. It was a good day, and I enjoyed it. It made me happy inside.
Day Nine High School Art
Glass Blowing! I did not know that the school district offered this! I subbed for five periods of glass-blowing. I really didn't do anything; I had T.A. in each of the beginner classes which just work on piecing glass to fuse together. My last two periods they blow glass; all of it broke or shatter. But it was awesome to watch the process and the glass did look amazing. The teacher is also an artist, so I saw some of her stuff too. She is good. Most of the students in these classes were males that were trying to impress me. One sang "Surfin USA," because of the line "tell your teacher"… Boys will be boys. They were also trying to offend me, which never works well. I know what jokes they are going to make before they even finish the joke. I have a dirtier mind than most people, especially students; I know what you are implying before you even start. Which is why, I can do the evil teacher look over the glasses quickly.
Day Ten, Eleven, and Twelve Middle School Various
This school is in the beginning stages of rebuilding their school; the architects were here for the three days and wanted to talk to every teacher in three days. So the school called in a handful of guest teachers to cover every teacher for one period in three days. So for about five classes a day I covered five different teachers. Some teachers backed out of the meetings, so I tend to have more time on my hands. Instead of reading a book, I helped the office with copying and filing discipline reports. They found me entertaining, I do not know why (I am so not funny.) I subbed for math, science, English, French, gym. It was fun, I liked wandering around to a new classroom every period, and it kept things interesting. However, I am not a huge fan of gym.
A funny story. I was subbing for a male math teacher, he was nice and funny when we chatted about his class. Twenty minutes in, the girls in the back row, who continue to "whisper" and did not understand that I could still here them in the front, wanted me to become "best friends" with their teacher because he was only 28/29. I just laughed. Girls will be girls.
Day Thirteen Middle School Language Arts
One should never substitute on a Friday that also has the holiday of Halloween. Students are already excited that it's Friday, but even more excited to the sugar content they have consumes by fifth period and on. I was blessed to sub a half-day that started with fifth period. The classes that I covered was a advanced language arts class that was easy, a little talkative but nothing really out of the ordinary and with some sugar induced – normal. The other two periods, lower reading groups that need help with fluency and what not, total controlled chaos. I had other teachers checking in and being supportive and understood when I told them. I managed it well, but at times you have to choose your battles and have the class fairly talkative was better than absolute anarchy.
Subbing is not bad; it definitely has it better days. But I am happier. I have a smile in my voice and fun stories that do not involved being sexually harassed like my previous job. I feel healthier and sleep better. I am doing what I got my degree in. It has only been three weeks; I have changed a lot in my style of subbing, getting better and finding out what works with students and what does not. Subbing is like glass-blowing, sometime you cannot control the glass and when trying to break from the pole, it shatters. While other times, everything works out perfectly and you have one amazing piece of art in front of you.
I am sure I forgot stories, but some stories are just better told in person.
