Sex Ed 101

I have never had sex, I have never turned it down and the issue of sex has never come up in my life (yet). My parents have never given me the sex talk. I learned about it is the way all "good" girls do - friends, movies, and the Cosmo Magazine and preferably before the age of 13. So, two weeks ago when I walked into a Middle School Health classroom and saw what was the lesson plan for the day, I did an internal scream that if it actually made it out of my mouth, if heard would have been deafening to the entire school. I am also sure I said "Fuck" a few times somewhat silently to myself starring at the unit I was subbing for - Sex Ed. I text my roommate with what I was teaching, because if anyone would understand who be my roommate who has a mom who is abstinence lady.

I like challenges and being a substitute teacher surely gives me these every time I walk into a classroom. I like to think of myself as a female-nerdy-teacher-version of Indiana Jones, who throws herself in danger but comes out a better person who has great stories to tell and perhaps gaining some practical teacher-like ideas for when she too will have her own classroom.  So, I sub and return with a headache and yet a better understanding of how middle and high school students brains work (maybe).

The lesson in the Sex Ed unit was about hooking up/one night stands. There was this wonderful article about that was to be read out loud with the class about the emotional issues that could arise, not to mention sexually transmitted infections (it has changed from diseases, so STIs instead of STDs - more friendly). So, I had to make sure all the 7th graders (around 12 years old) knew was certain terms meant like: Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Vaginal Intercourse and so on. Seriously. I did everything in my power not to turn red up there and laugh when I am being all serious while I have 25 pair of eyes just starring back at me. Of course there are a few giggles and snickers that arose from the once rowdy bunch to now I can hear a pin drop silence of the classroom.

The article was read and then proceeded to the worksheet.

Then came the questions. One girl asked me what was vaginal intercourse? A boy ask me if a girl could get pregnant by anal sex, well no, but technically yes. There were others questions. I forget that at this age, when they do not know something, they are usually pretty honest in asking. Of course, the questions could become wacky at a given moment, but for today the questions were typical and normal for that I was grateful.

The one thing I realized that when I sub for middle school classrooms, I tend to have a middle school student brain when I come home from subbing for the day. I have learned that when I been with middle school students, I need a time to allow myself to return to my normal being, so I come home and at 430pm on the PBS channel I watch Curious George and do Sudoku (preferably a hard level one) and this restores me back to a 25 year old (usually).

I subbed the the same teacher and classes the other day, and they were still on Sex Ed.  However, this time one period decided to piss off the substitute (me) by asking really, really wacky sex questions (and I could tell it wasn't for knowledge). Questions that I do not remember, but it was more along the line to stump the sub and see what reaction they could get out of me. So, the entire class was rowdy and I gave entire class a warning (the next step is detention according to this teacher's rules) and that keep them quiet and respectful. I just wasn't in the mood to be messed with let alone with Sex Ed, because one wrong thing I say, could get me in trouble with the school district, the teacher I am subbing for and with parents.

This time, we read a chapter about abstinence and why everyone should try to be abstinence until they are ready (remember, public education and I am not allow to add morals or values to anything). Then we read a article about Sex in the Media, which was dated in 2004, so most kids didn't know about Felicity or Dawson's Creek (the sex shows of that time - oh the memories).

Substitute Teacher is a very fine tightrope act, things could be going great for a moment, and then a student laughs and all hell breaks loose. I like subbing, but at times I wish I could really use the duck-tape that is in my car to keep the students in their seats focused and working like good will students their teachers claim that they are.

xen

The Day I Taught Sex Ed. - The First Time

Sunday, January 18, 2009 at 10:40pm

The last time I sat through Sex Education was in high school and six years later, I am standing in front of a classroom of 30, 7th graders for 5 periods, defining oral sex and reading this article about “hooking-up” and the pros and cons of hooking up. Seriously, I think the past two months of subbing, I have done everything that every sub dreads. I have worked with last chance high school students (who for some reason like me, and the teachers always want me back) to special education kids in middle school. So maybe, this me proving myself to myself that I can teach.

According to the note, the classroom teacher, I am suppose to be matter of fact, and not impose any values to defining for explaining in any questions. Oh yes, she made it very clear that is not a “how-to” class (which was fine by me). For the most part, the classes went fine. A few questions about oral sex and the scripted answer is the following, “where your mouth touches the genitals or anus.”

So, I survived and the students survived.

Here are some questions I was asked (seriously):
o Can a girl get pregnant by anal sex?
o What is vaginal intercourse?
o What is dry sex?

Let’s just say, it was an interesting day. Middle school students were cool about it; sure there were giggles when certain words would come up. But for the most part, they ask questions that they didn’t really know. I love that middle school students are not afraid to ask questions. Sometimes as teachers, and adults we have to say I do not know.